My spouse and I have been having a debate for several months now about whether or not I should file for disability. For a while I felt it was a moot point because I was not a U.S. citizen and would therefore be ineligible, given I wasn’t eligible for Medicaid any more once our child was born.

However I got my U.S. citizenship last month thanks to a generous helping hand from my mother who didn’t want to go through the citizenship process by herself. So, my husband once again suggested that I apply for disability. I’m a bit nervous about applying for some reasons which are probably silly, like being afraid that having DID or MPD on paper like that would mean that we’d get a visit from DCF and my son would be taken away, even though my therapist and psychiatrist have both assured me that given our son is in a loving home where he’s taken care of that wouldn’t be an issue.

My therapist told me that she would support my efforts to get disability, but warned me that it would be a long hard road before we saw any light. It’s not as though sending in the application magically gives us extra money. It means that the application is sent for review, and anyone applying for disability has a strong chance of being denied, and if it’s an application for disability based on mental issues there’s a much greater chance of being denied.

I started the application today, and it’s so confusing. I’m not sure how far in to the application I am at the moment, but it’s asking about self employment income and net self employment income and I had to save it because I’m not sure what’s it’s asking for exactly, so if I can’t find out from one of my friends what they mean I’ll see if my husband has any idea.

They want to know if my net income from self employment was over $400 last year but I’m not sure what they mean by net. The income reported for self employment on taxes was -1600 dollars, I made $200 and something from tarot, but about $1200 from paid blogging. So I’m not sure if they would consider that to be over $400 because I technically made $1500 (or thereabouts) but with all the expenses there was no profit.

I seriously think it’s worse than taxes.

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