…and as thus was kinda interesting. We were telling E about the discussion going on about Debbi and the roll call that we’ve been doing, and she found it interesting that we would take it upon ourselves to do one, and in amongst that was complimenting me on the fact that I’m being more firm with the munchkin but also said that I continue to surprise her because I take things in stride and have such “good humor” and “can joke” about my mental situation. She said some of the things that I describe would have others in freak-outs, and I told her that I’ve had my share of freak-outs to be sure.
College held a lot of freak outs and since college did too, but my last major freak out other than when I found out I was pregnant and tried to clamp everything down was the Yule after the munchkin was born.
We were driving to the airport to pick up relatives and SO and I were talking and he was saying about the discussion he’d had with me the previous night where it didn’t seem like me or Max or anyone he recognized and I didn’t remember it all. This was also around the time of the ceiling armadillo, and he was going “Why are you freaking out about this?” and I’m going, “Because I don’t remember it happening!” and he’s going, “but you and Max switch out all the time,” and I’m going, “Yes, but I remember that, and if I don’t remember Max fills me in. I have no idea who that was and Max has no idea who that was, it’s a HUGE BLANK SPACE THAT’S LIKE COLLEGE ALL OVER AGAIN.”
E was saying that the amount of control and awareness I have with my system is something she’s never encountered before. She says that next session she would either like to see if Debbi is willing to talk to her because Debbi is connected to the littles or if anyone who voluntarily abdicated when the pregnancy was discovered would like to talk to her that would be good, because they obviously have ties into the anger-issue and the fear of hurting the munchkin issues. She says she’s also interested to work out if there’s something major in childhood that caused the separations or if it’s more tied into the “channeling” and the regression work that I’ve done. She said normally people with systems as large as mine have had multiple traumas in childhood, but since I only seem to have had a couple she wonders if I was pretty static at 2-4 growing up but then the things I did in college played on the fracture that was already there instead.
We like her. She’s very open-minded and very smart 